30. September 2025

I've decided for the title of this post to be "Turning Point" based on the recent event that took place in the US. I never knew Charlie Kirk, only hearing his name a few times now that I think of it, but after looking into who the guy actually was I do feel bad about what happened there and it's a shame it had to come to that. I do not share most of what Kirk was preaching, but I wholeheartedly agree with one of his most basic principles: People need to talk with each other. It's why so much in...

20. May 2025

Little update again. I want to get back on two things I've talked about last month. Regarding the exam I had in my company: I failed it! It was such a tragedy with how it happened. Both the theoretical as well as the actual programming I started off amazingly, but as soon as I've made a single mistake it all came down crumbling as I got nervous and started cascading down into a pool of chained mistakes and...that was it. But I still got into the team! And now I face a new challenge that is the...

28. April 2025

I find it rather fascinating how circumstances can change your stance on things. I am myself a victim of this aspect of life as much as anyone else. Things you may have had no interest in before may suddenly appear a lot more attractive to you when there is some external input in your life. It is really weird, as it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me. How can I possibly, suddenly be interested in something, just because of something outside affecting me in some way? How can I, on a...

01. April 2025

Today was really not a good day. It's April Fools so I thought to execute an idea I had months ago: Placing little rubber duckies across the office. I find them to be rather adorable, cute even. Funny too. Harmless even. What I did not consider was the level of annoyance they could bring to someone. The other apprentices found the encounter of finding their work desks each being covered by 4 little ducks funny and they played with them a bit. That squeaking of said ducks however did piss of our...

20. March 2025

The first quarter of this year is almost over and yet here I am writing my first post again. Oh well. What happened? My apprenticeship is going fine so far, I still feel quite happy with the company and where I am now, but we got bought by a much larger one. I guess that's just life. It doesn't matter too much for me anyway since I am borderline not able to be fired for as long as I don't do anything extreme of course. I tried to find a flat to move out for the past months and sometimes I do...

01. September 2024

Today is quite the special day: Two of our German states are having their election today, and in both, the oppositional right wing party AfD is expected to effectively steamroll the election. I don't see myself supporting the party, but I still believe this likely outcome won't hurt the country on a federal level. It is quite the opposite in fact. For way too many years we've had politicians in charge who no longer tried to enforce of what the people want, but instead, they dictate what is...

31. January 2024

There is something I find very interesting within the group dynamic of my new schooling program I am in. There are people with very different age groups, from 21 all the way to way beyond 50. But that isn't what I find interesting. What I find interesting is the fact that when there is something going on that causes anxiety of one of the guys I do group work together with then I will naturally take the lead of it. I do it for the sake of him not mentally shitting himself because I know how it...

31. December 2023

Last day of the year. Not gonna lie, I wanted to write this a year before, but that was when I started getting knee deep in some unholy shit. Unbelievable in all honesty. Anyway, let me summarize this month: I met my mother again, last time was 2019 at the funeral of my grandmother. This time it was at home. We didn't really talk much, or at all because the whole conversation was basically just my mother and stepmother. My father, my younger halfbrother and me barely said a thing. I admit, I...

30. November 2023

I wanted to write an entry about a week ago, but I had another appointment that was re-scheduled to yesterday so I waited to make this. So far everything seems to be going great to get an apprenticeship next year and everything is gonna covered. Nothing is set in stone yet, but so far there is nothing standing against it which is great. Not having something negative to look at for once feels great and looking at it back now, it does make me realize that I'm starting to change my usually...

16. October 2023

I want to keep things short in this one today. First of all: Financially everything is settled again, a great relief not gonna lie. Secondly, everything is looking good regarding the possibility of getting into programming. So there is an upwards momentum in my life again which is great. It is ironic that as soon as my life is starting to go the right direction again, another war breaks out. This time in Israel. And while I educate myself about the history of the region so I can understand the...